Time and I

Who am I?  That's a big question, isn't it?  To fully and completely answer this question would be to understand the universe itself.  Because we each perceive and come to know the universe solely through our own lens of personality, identity, and mind, to understand who I am would be to understand how I will ultimately perceive the world.  A common expression of this sentiment is one's perception of the glass half full or empty.  If you know who you are to complete certainty, you will always know what your answer will be.

But there is a problem with this whole self-discovery thing, a big problem: time.  How can we know who we are with complete certainty if we are constantly in flux, if time continually brings about change within and without us? Trust me, I wouldn't be writing this post if I knew.  This is the condition that we all struggle with, the pervasive and inescapable condition of uncertainty.

Perhaps, though, the whole is non-existent, and perhaps time is the absolute foundation of the universe.  Allow me to elaborate.  Time is how we define change and transience.  If there were no change, we would have no concept of time.  The whole is the idea of the absolute, that there is a beginning and an end and that between these points we determine the whole.  But if time were the foundation of the universe, that which everything is based upon, then change and transience would be the norm.  Essentially, there could be no absolute anything because everything would be in a constant state of change, everything would constantly be between different states and those states would be between states and so and so on.  There would be no end point, no place to determine whether something had reached finality and completeness.

So what does this have to do with us, with who you are and who I am?  Well, what I'm basically saying, is that we can never know who we completely are because we are never complete.  We have memories of the past, but the vast majority of what we experience is lost with time.  Even memories of yesterday will eventually give in even if you seem completely sure of what you did at this current moment.  Give it time and time will take it.  But even more so, we do not know anything about the future.  We make plans and set a general trajectory, sure, but who we will become?  That's a complete mystery.  And all those future events could come to define you for the rest of your life, they could become the biggest part of your personality.

We all have our underlying desires and innate abilities, but it is our perception of the world that is constantly evolving as we are exposed to new experiences, people, places, knowledge.  We are a small, moving target, but the arrow of time will always strike the bull's eye, and so we'll never know with certainty which way we'll see the world.

Perhaps I'll spend more time developing this another day.  Perhaps.

A few appropriate selections:

"Perception is Purpose"

Understood in the simplest of ways,

he said,

there is but one basic component

to everything.

He could not elaborate.

It had not been discovered,

it may never be,

but this did not dissuade,

or even sadden the man.

He had run over and over

the same elements of this idea,

again and again and

time after time returned

to his material singularity.

There is no other way to explain it.

Explain what exactly?

I had to question.

Why else am I here,

but to listen to the creak of the cooling universe as all life falls asleep?

"The Retrospective Present"

Long looms the specter of the past,

casting its shadow on the mind

wound counterclockwise

and sideways swung.

Our destination is up ahead, soon

comes the boon of our future forms

and for too long they shall last as

the past continues to cast shadows

on the shoulders of the forgotten

field of history, the only time that has ever

mattered or materialized, perhaps.

Love the life of long-traveled light

but don’t deny its purpose as you

forever remember this brief,

self-replicating second of presence.

"Human Nature"

When you wake up in the middle of the woods

follow the myth of the moss,

let the light that cracks the canopy

squeeze between the trunks of trees

and trace the path to pastures.

Follow the lead of falling leaves,

anywhere they land is lovely

as they leave their past behind.

Squirrels will squeak and birds will chirp,

but you are a human being—

your mind will find a way if

you lose two eyes or ears, if

fears freeze your muscles into place, if

your heart darts from high to low or horizontal,

your mind will always make the choice.

It knows you even if you’ve lost yourself

and better than you ever will.